there are things in my life that effects are made and i don't care the consequences, because i've been neglecting my potential. I'm not moving productively fast in this world called Earth. I recognize that i'm having more pleasure than pain and that is not good. i have not picked up my responsibilities yet i would like to jump into them, getting a job for me is hard, i'm going to college soon, so not only do i not have a job, but going to college with no paychecks at the moment; i'm a little stupid i guess...
I do alot of stupid shit and i've got alot on my plate, i'm kinda hungry but i can't eat the whole meal, too much presents itself too quickly. I'm trying to start college soon with no money whatsoever, no job and i'm depressed. I know alot of things and i want to help out the world, but i'm afraid to, i'm afraid of my own destiny...what does that say
i go day to day thinking about why the world has so many crossroads and back slashes and targets that we get through just to pass by, i do these things and they don't mean a damn thing.
I hate that i'm so...braindead the only time i feel; is when 'pain' is given to me or that of a womans touch, nowadays.
I work at nothing i don't really do anything, i let life float by like the feather in Forrest Gump, i try and try to do nothing which makes me sad.
I want to be resposive to my own being and it's interactions, i want to be the driver in my life, but i just need a little guidance...idk where from but i need help starting my life like i need a fuckin' handbook to my life or a tutorial. this life on Earth is monotonous and everyones working for a pointless cause. They work for the dream but the dreams don't work for them because they can't read them, they are the paths but no one really sees that. The world is made up of a language that's right in fromt of you but i am trying to learn how to understandit but have no help, with my brain i'm not smart enough to do these tasks, it's handed to me and i don't know what to do with it, i hate being stupid...
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